My Menopause Meltdown

The first changes I noticed 

I was getting along fine, or so I kept telling myself, even though aches and pains were beginning to creep in, I felt tense all the time, I had extreme fatigue, my skin was itchy, I couldn’t get through sentences without forgetting words. But it was all ok, I wasn’t in peri- menopause because I wasn’t getting hot flushes….or so I was told by my GP. 

Fast forward a year or so when following a bout of Covid, out of the blue I began having hot flushes and panic attacks one night. The flushes stopped but the panic didn’t and so began the worst 6 months of my life. 

I’m going to keep this short. I had a complete mental breakdown, I couldn’t work leave the house or even speak to friends, I had severe physical and mental anxiety symtoms 24/7.  Sleep became a thing of the past and I lost two stone in weight. Many visits to the GP resulted in me eventually being given antidepressants for a short period, which didn’t work. I tried several times to discuss perimenopause but I wasn’t being listened to. 

Why Am I Telling You This?

Because you might be in a similar place right now and after reading my story I hope you can see that there is hope and you will feel better. You see it’s about knowledge. It’s true that Knowledge is Power. When we learn about what’s happening to us during peri menopause and how our brain responds and reacts to the big changes going on, it’s no wonder our nervous system can go into overdrive for a while. If we had been taught about menopause at school then we could have prepared ourselves, but hey this is where we are and there are some fabulous campaigners bringing this issue to the forefront.

Weird Symptoms no one tells you about

So,back to my story. I hit rock bottom when I honestly believed the horrific sensations would never end. It went on day and night. Nausea, stomach churning and clenching, electric shocks in my head, dizziness, vertigo, palpitations, choking feelings vibrations, buzzing sensations all over my body, edginess, an inability to sit still and a never ending loop of intrusive thoughts going round in my head.

Knowledge is Key

Recognise any of these? If so, you can stop worrying now. They are all normal (although very unpleasant) signs of a functioning nervous system and can be calmed down to normal when you know why it’s happening and how to stop it.

Many women have anxiety during (peri)menopause and often a few dietary or exercise changes can be the key. HRT is also great in stopping anxiety for many. However some of us have particularly sensitive brains and maybe a history of anxiety so when the hormones suddenly begin fluctuating like crazy and our serotonin levels drop, our brain is particularly alarmed. The key to calming it all down is convincing your brain that all is ok and that you know you are safe.

I did a lot of studying over those months, it initially helped me to learn the sensations I was feeling were in fact normal (although heightened) responses to hormonal fluctuations. 

Being in FB communities helped to see I was not alone and that I wasn’t going crazy. 

I tried every cure for anxiety on the internet, read books, meditated, changed my diet, did a course of CBT, and had some great support and help from a hypnotherapist. All of this helped, but for me the real turning point was finally joining the dots to perimenopause- this was a huge shift!  After all the panic about what and why was happening to me, I finally had answers – I wasn’t going mad. I then began more research on how to manage my menopausal anxiety and discovered Acceptance & Commitment Therapy which really helped me to accept and allow the feelings, emotions and sensations of peri-menopause to come and go as they please while I get back to doing all the things I love in life. 

It gets better and now I want to help YOU

The day I woke up after a decent night’s sleep and felt calm,  I literally punched the air and made it my mission in that moment to get back to myself and commit to educating and supporting women going through tough menopausal challenges. 

I’m chuffed to say I’ve since qualified as a Menopause Wellness & HRT Educator, and in Spring 2024, I will complete my Level 2 accreditation in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Women deserve to know the facts about menopause and the truth about the risks of taking HRT instead of the scaremongering nonsense that’s still going around today. With fact based knowledge we are empowered to make informed choices about how we wish to navigate through our own menopause.

The Positives I’m taking from my Menopause Transition 

It’s made me mentally stronger, I have more trust in myself to take care of myself. I spent a lot of time in the dark with my deepest fears, and I came out the other side. There is power in that.

The most interesting thing to come out of my menopause journey so far is that I have had to dig deep and look inside myself to acknowledge what I need and want from my life, and to discard what I don’t want or need.  It’s been a crazy journey of self-discovery, the hippy in me might even call it a spiritual awakening. Anyway whatever it is, it feels blummin good to be on this side of it and looking forward to new and exciting things to come.

What helped the most?

Getting the information I needed initially was key, then practicing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy tools and brain training exercises for anxiety and sleep. HRT has been wonderful in dealing with other symptoms and calming my very frazzled and exhausted nervous system down. Walking with my dog in nature and trying to stay present in the moment are also biggies for keeping an inner sense of peace. 

I have made a few dietary changes and cut down on alcohol (I still like a couple of glasses on the weekend though).  Alongside HRT, I take a daily supplement of vit D3 and magnesium glycinate to help sleep.

My advice to you if you are struggling 

Again – Knowledge is key. There is so much information out there when you start to search. I would also say go and see your GP, don’t be fobbed off with antidepressants if they are not what you feel you need.  Get a second opinion if necessary.  Don’t be afraid to ask to try HRT.  Work with an anxiety specialist if your anxiety is severe and not resolved with HRT. Reach out to other women.  Join forums on social media where there are other women going through the same thing. Become a menopause champion where you work, and insist your workplace has a menopause policy or at least has a culture that talks openly about menopause. 

Just know you are not alone, you are not going crazy and with good solid information at your fingertips you can learn how to manage your transition your way x